In the 21st Century, why are we always testing love?

I was told something recently, which really stuck to me…

You see couples all the time today who are hell bent on testing love.  I see it all around me, I do it myself too.. and when you come to think about it, it really doesn’t make any sense.

Why are we constantly thinking that love will survive all the tests we put it through?

The whole, “I’m going to go here, here and there… and travel all these places, and if we still love each other I guess in the end we will be together,” … or moving to different countraies and thinking that if it’s true love, it will survive the test of time. The test of time? The test of time can be tested while your together too… time doesn’t stop either way, as for the test of distance… WHY do we test love with distance? It’s idiotic really.

Possibly the most recent one I’ve heard… “3 or 5 years later, we would work… if we’re still meant for each other, then we’ll be together then,”… I’m sorry, but do people hear themselves when they say these things? I use to think it made sense too… till I thought about it, and I found myself thinking what a nuisance it sounds like, imagine doing it.

You don’t test true love. Your LUCKY if and when you find true love…. so you grab onto it and cherish it, you respect it and make sure you never let it go, not juggle with it to see if you can drop the ball or not. That’s rubbish…

I mean the fact is, when you travel, when you live, when you go places, you are BOUND to meet someone better… you will meet new people, more people… have you ever imagined how BIG the world is? The fact that you’ve found someone here… that you really love, well, what makes you think you wont meet other people that’ll attract you in other ways? Of course love isn’t going to stand the test of distance… the world is too big… and there are just too many people out there… to even think it will.

Back in the olden days, when people found love, they held onto it… because if you don’t, it wouldn’t work… you’d lose it. You don’t get your dream job and think to yourself, “Oh no but I’m going to now GO AWAY for a year or two, and see if the job really wants me… if it’s really for me… if it is, then a year later it’ll be mine,”… nope, we grab it like nothing before, and we take it… same with anything else in life, a pair of shoes you may like, ladies? A jacket? The perfect car, on discount… the perfect house, the perfect outfit, the perfect birthday gift… the perfect wedding ring… the perfect guitar… so when this perfect person comes along, why do all our theories flush down the drain and suddenly, we’re standing here, thinking, ooh but if he/she is “perfect” for me… it will pass the test of time. Why now?…

It really makes no sense, does it… testing love the way we do. I think it’s a way of abusing it something that should be cherished… because though as I said, there are plently more people out there… who you will meet and love may not stand that test… but having said that, have you ever wondered, or noticed, the amount of people around you who have never found love? or those that once found love, but they let it go and are happy tofay, but regret losing on that one special person, that they wish they hadn’t let go… Next time, try to open your eyes to them… I see them all the time, every where… they are 30, 35, 40, 45… some even older and younger… who didn’t find true love..

So if you’ve been lucky enough to find it, grab it. Don’t test it… that’s not the way we live life… we don’t test things we think are perfect… and it’s funny because most people always whine about finding true love and not the best pair of shoes, yet, we grab the shoe, but let go of love..

Where does that leave us?

I sat there contemplating what is about to happen, and if I’m ready to handle the truth yet, or not. Wondering how it will all unfold itself…. and I realized, the problem with being clever is, you learn very quickly that the truth changes all the time. Sooner than you realize, your no longer a nice person, just a clever person.

I think it’s where I’m headed.

What is truth other than the reality? And reality is nothing but something… that is real.

Who decides what is real? Hasn’t the reality between us changed? We were real then, we are real now… but there is a vast difference between the two realities, isn’t there? Where does that leave us? Where does that leave the truth? Truth then, being in the span of a moment? That would most certainly make the truth subject to moments… it’s momentarily. It changes, all the time.

It’s 3:03pm in the afternoon, and that’s true. But a minute from now, the truth is going to change… but the minute old truth doesn’t turn into a lie either, thats going to remain the truth of that moment…

But sometimes I wonder, that the truth may have changed between us…. we may have gone from being what we were, to who we are now… and someday to what we will be… all of it being as real as anything you may ever come across…

Yet there’s the truth inside me. The things I feel… who decides if what I feel inside me is real or not? It was my reality back then, and it still remains the same… maybe with time, the reality within me will fade away and give way to something new that wants to blossom within… Maybe. But for now, it really hasn’t. Not one bit…. every little detail, every little feeling, and every one of those emotions, remain as real as they ever were… and that’s a momentarily truth that I can’t run away from anymore.

At that thought…. it makes me wonder, we as human beings, give so much importance to the word Love, and Truth, both which are subject to change with time. Love is something you feel which is true, and as discovered, truth works hand in hand with time, and time – is always changing.

So do we really rely all our lives on the faith of something that will change, and that is certain? Yet we fuss about wanting to know the ultimate truth and forever love… where do those terms even come from? How can Love be “forever”, when forever doesn’t happen the same way? We don’t wake up every day, and live the exact same lives, exact same moments, again and again… so why are we so hell bent on never wanting that feeling, which we once felt, to change with time, though we change, and so do our surroundings? Isn’t that a little odd? To except such an impossible outcome from life?

Or the “ultimate truth” for that matter… what is the ultimate truth?

Ultimate: The Absolute is the concept of an unconditional reality which transcends limited, conditional, everyday existence…

Everyday existence… one thing, one truth, one emotion, cannot possibly exist every single day, unconditionally, through different aspects that we go on to live in our lives…

Where does it leave me? If things change according to time, will this feeling inside me, learn to accept the change and blend into something new eventually?  But what if it isn’t my choice? What if my choice was to keep this feeling, because it made me feel complete?

Then again, a forced reality is still the truth of that very moment, isn’t it. A rape is still the truth… an ugly kind, but still very much true.

Where does that leave us?

By us, I could possibly mean the world that we all belong to… or maybe, maybe I mean you and me… I’m not so sure myself.

Makes me wish I were Muslim for Love …

I couldn’t stop thinking all day today… and it made me wonder… does being non muslim make me such a bad person? We weren’t all born as muslims, were we? Is it more important, for someone to be Muslim, or to be a good person?… Just because I say God and I don’t say Allah… but don’t they all tell us the same thing? Doesn’t God teach us to forgive those we love, give every body a chance, be good to others, live and let live, help those in needs… and live a good life so that when the time comes, you can face god with the way you lived your life?… I thought at the end of the day, every religion teaches the same thing… to be a better human being, respect and worship him for all that you have and more.

I thought God tells us to love and not hate, and to give every body a chance…

It made me think, what is more important…. having good values and morals, or belonging to a religion? Can being born in a muslim family make me a better person? Or can being born in a Hindu family make me a bad person? What about everything I believe in?… does religion make people want to see cultural difference before seeing if the person is good or bad?

I thought God is every where… god is in our heart… God is in love, in friendship, in children… I think of him when I see the sunset, I think of him when I see kids and I see families… when I see people in the world, who are good to one another and help those who need help, I think of God… Because I see God in all of it…

My mum use to always say, god is within us… and if God is in every body’s heart… how can people hate each other? That’s like hating God… and questioning his creation…

If I changed every time I wrote “God” and made it “Allah”, would I be a better person? because for me it’s no different… for me, God is Allah, and Allah is God… Isn’t the whole purpose of religion to live a better life…?

I couldn’t stop thinking… and it made me wonder, why we believe so strongly, when it goes against every thing god would want us to do… didn’t we create us all? Or some of us, who are non muslims, were we not created by god too? If you believe in Allah, didn’t he create me too? …

I question myself… Just because I’m not Muslim, could I not keep him happy?… Could I not be right for him??… Does He think that too??.. It wouldn’t matter if I’m a good person or not?…

and I wondered what was so wrong with me that I didn’t even deserve a chance at all… that he was ready to let me go… because I didn’t belong to his religion and cast…

“Then it isn’t a relationship. It’s just a technical problem!”

So I heard the funniest conversation today between two people while we were sitting at marine drive… It’s twisted, and interesting… And I just had to share it with you guys… I don’t know the names so work with X and Z for that… hope you enjoy it. It really got me thinking to be honest… I wanted to go be part of it! … Comments are welcome x

X he just broke up so he isn’t ready to be in a relationship

Z that’s okay… I understand that. It takes time for us guys. I took almost a year to come out of my two year relationship…

X yeah… but we’re like, sort of in a relationship anyway. I mean, we talk everyday. We meet all the time. We have sex… we go for dinners. Except we can’t call it a relationship.

Z so why don’t you date?

X because he says dating leads to relationships

Z no it doesn’t… it leads to you just going on dates with each other. That’s it. Your dating. Your not answerable or anything.

X ah okay. What. What? So… it’s exclusive though isn’t it?

Z what? No. of course not. Nothing is exclusive. Fuck buddies aren’t exclusive. Nor are flings.

X yes they are. What if I’m in an exclusive fling?

Z a what fling? There’s no such thing.

X yes there is. Where you’re sleeping with each other, but your not committed, and your exclusive.

Z but isn’t being exclusive a commitment anyway?

X I guess so… but it’s not like, a mental commitment. It’s a physical commitment.

Z and that’s what guys don’t want. That’s why we don’t get into relationships. Why would a guy be exclusive to you physically, yet not be in a relationship? What’s he getting?

X well this way I don’t have any expectations from him… you know. I can’t get annoyed, I guess.

Z but don’t you get annoyed with friends?

X mhmm.

Z and boyfriends?

X yeah

Z and people you like? Or random people on the streets?

X yeah… but it isn’t the same. Here we don’t have expectations.

Z so what… you’re in some sort of fucking… physical relationship?

X yeah… I don’t know. It’s not just that. I mean… we like each other.

Z you hang out?

X of course. All the time… and we go for dinners and stuff.

Z right.

X what is it?

Z well you’re a couple then.

X no we aren’t… because we can’t call it a relationship. He freaks out.

Z well if your getting what you want, why do you even care? Who cares what you call it? Call it fucking marine driving. Whatever.

X but then… how do I know where I stand?!

Z what do you mean?? Why do girls need to always know where they stand? It doesn’t even make sense. You decide your ground!

X I guess so… but, what if you’re not really, in a relationship. You just like each other, and you’re physically committed, and you go on dates and hang out… but your not mentally committed?

Z oh so would you be okay with a guy who’s physically loyal, but he goes two weeks without calling you?

X of course not. That’s bullshit.

Z so you have to talk often too.

X duh.

Z so it’s a… no expectation relationship then. It’s still a relationship.

X oh not really, it isn’t.

Z hey, if your having exclusive sex, then it’s a relationship.

X oh. I didn’t know that… he just doesn’t want the mental pressures of being with a girl. I think…

Z I’d want to meet such a man… really. I don’t think there’s a guy that exists who would be okay with being exclusive physically without wanting a relationship. What does he even get out of it?

X well what if it’s because I don’t want to sleep with someone who’s sleeping with someone else when I’m not there.

Z why do you give a shit? You’re not his girlfriend.

X it’s just the thought… it’s gross.

Z well then don’t sleep with him.

X but he’s exclusive na…

Z he bullshits.

X noooo! He said he is exclusive. And the moment he has it with someone else, he’ll tell me… and we’ll stop having sex.

Z that’s just retarded. If he’s leaving out having sex with other girls for you, then your clearly his girlfriend. If your not – then he’s lying to you.

X okay let’s just say… what if, he’s sleeping with me… but it’s because there isn’t anyone else he wants to sleep with at the moment, and when he does, he’ll tell me and we won’t sleep together anymore. Then onwards we’re just friends… until then we’re exclusive… and we have dinner and the rest.

Z well then I guess your not his girlfriend, yeah.

X what am I then?

Z that just means your being a poop head… and a pain in the ass.

X so it isn’t a relationship?

Z no, it isn’t a relationship. It’s  just a technical problem! Nothing you’d tell your grand kids about for sure.

X oh.

Z you know what it is?

X what?

Z it’s a frigging thought procedure. That’s all.

X right… well, thanks. So I shouldn’t be slee-

Z nope.

X I see.

Z wow… that’s just weird. And complicated.

“What’s in a name?”, was Shakespeare being sarcastic?

“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet;” so the poor man probably  didn’t know that hundreds of years later, in the 20th century, people were going to take their own meaning out of it. As far as I know, he clearly said by any other name… and not no name what so ever. You could call a rose a thorn, you could call it the sun, the rain, or even the daisey! But you have to call it something… because if you don’t give it any name, it’s going to get really complicated. What do you do when you want to talk about it to others? Or tell someone… do you say, that thing… which smells just as sweet without any name. You know what that is, don’t you? It’s red and soft and curls up from above, remember? … I’m sorry but in the normal world, which I would like to believe I live in, that’s just fucking complicated. Why not just call it something? Address it with a name…. any name – but you got to give it a name.

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet;” so the poor man perhaps didn’t know that hundreds of years later, in the 20th century, people were going to take their own implication out of it. As far as I know, he clearly said by any other name… and not no name what so ever. You could call a rose a thorn; you could call it the sun, the rain, or even the daisy! But you have to call it something… because if you don’t give it any name, it’s going to get really complicated. What do you do when you want to talk about it to others? Or tell someone… do you say that thing… which smells just as sweet without any name. You know what that is, don’t you? It’s red and soft and curls up from above, remember? … I’m sorry but in the ordinary world, which I would like to consider myself a part of, that’s just fucking complicated. Why not just call it something? Address it with a name…. any name – but you got to provide it a name.

Now, your possibly wondering where I’m going with this… it’s okay, so was I right at the start when I started typing my title and asked my self how the hell was I ever going to get around to it, but then… it just sort of came. My entire problem is… today’s people. You. Me. That guy sitting next to you. The one in front of the bar. The person walking down under your building. Your friends at school… everybody… why are we SO petrified of giving things a name? Why, in god’s name (ha, name… that’s almost funny) do we run away from it? I mean, if a rose won’t stop smelling the way it does no matter what you call it or not – then feelings won’t change according to the name you give them. Feelings will stay, emotions will stay, and so will the gestures – with the name, or without it. So… isn’t life just a lot easier when you can address things with their given names? Why are we constantly trying to be so ‘unusual’, so ‘out of the box’ and so ‘innovative’, so ‘inventive’, where as all it leads to is preventable complications? I mean, you don’t want to give what you share with someone a name right… okay, why give people names either? Why give the things you ride in names? Why give the people you hang out with names? Why give cities, roads, birds, businesses or any of it a name? Perhaps we should reach the utterly dumb stage of being intellectual where we want to stand out and be all the more different!

Honestly… it’s such a trend to do it these days… and I don’t understand why… there was a time when I didn’t mind it myself, till I went through it, and realized that it didn’t make any sense. Why would you even fancy a nameless, unidentified, indescribable thing with a person? I know… you don’t want to ‘complicate’ things… because once you give things a name, the expectations get higher and things get complicated and blah… blah… blah blah blah blah BLAH. Because you know what? They actually don’t! I think that’s a load of bullshit. Expectations don’t come with the badge you put on… expectations come with what you share… and what you share has nothing to do with what you call it. I hope you’re not too befuddled.

I think, that by not giving it a name, you merely invite all the complications… because no matter how ‘intellectual’ I may try to be, but at the end of the day I’m human and I want to know what that thing there that I’m looking at day after day is called. I want to define it… if I can’t, it bothers me. Tell me it doesn’t bother you?… you see this odd, out of the ordinary, peculiar thing for the first time … and you keep wondering what it’s called… how’s that going to make all your days till the time you figure out a name for it? But the day you give it a name, it’ll simply be another bed in your room… another light in the hall… another rock on the beach and another friendly neighbourhood. It’ll be the things with names. Things you’re already familiar with.

People often say it’s because they’ve seen how nasty it gets in the past…. but I don’t know what that means. When did we ever stop calling a new day a new day even after having a death the day before? The next day that follows after, it’s still a day…. think of the worst day of your whole damn life… the day that might have made you want to kill yourself or leave everything…. what did you do? did you wake up the next da- oh sorry, did you wake up the next sun rise and make plans for meetings and occasions calculating them as about ’3400 hours from now, I shall meet you’. Or ‘let’s meet in about 63 hours… and I’m going to sleep in 3 hours. So I can wake up in 8 and go to work in 12 hours’. Why don’t we start talking like that? In fact… why even use the word sun rise after having a bad morning? Or the word meeting? Or occasion? Or hours, have you never had a bad hour? So let’s take these names away from them… I mean, wow… spiteful, nasty experiences, right? So let them go.

But… we don’t let them go. We keep trying… you have a bad day, you still wake up the next day and give the new one a try… and you have many more bad days in the future, but you know what… you’ve had the good ones too… because you didn’t give up and turn it into nothingness. You gave each day of your life a chance… so why don’t we give what we share with someone else a chance? At times I feel sorry… because people don’t give what they share with someone a name simply because that complicates the whole thing, but what they don’t realize is not giving a name complicates things more than giving them one does… and this way, we sometimes miss out on the most astonishing chemistry we could have shared with a person, just because we were too busy living one hell ova complicated life. You probably get along with a person like a house on fire, they completely value and understand you and you understand them… and you’d probably have so much more in common, and so much fun together if you weren’t too busy being somebody else. Somebody who’s floating in nothingness, nameless things that stop you from being who you really are. If only, we’d look beyond that… and stop giving the name so much significance and instead try to look at the actual picture, you’d see there’s a lot that you’re probably missing out on. The worse part is, that by doing what we do… we end up having to deal with those complications even more because the whole time we were so busy trying to avoid them… and instead, if we could just forget about them, and take them like we take every new day, we’d come across a lot of bad…shared….thi

ngy-ma-bobs with people, and many good ones too! (See how intricate that was? I just called it a fucking thingy-ma-bob because I didn’t have any name for what those people share when they share an unnamed thing… phew!).

It’s just that some people out there don’t ever notice how amazing whatsoever you have with a person is or it could be… because you let it pass by while you were trying to look for it everywhere else. Nothing lasts eternally… nothing at all, even the greatest of all, the all mighty, the overst

ated, over exaggerated and most ill-fated…  Love… the poor thing… it got the most unfortunate name, one that’s always in trouble, always responsible and always questioned, and even love doesn’t last forever… so why on earth would anything else? It all ends one day, just like your days, and just like your different relationships with different people… so why not enjoy it while it lasts? And give it a sincere try… and I hope we all realize that before it’s too late, because you don’t always get second chances…

You should have realized by now that when you don’t give it a name… you’re still calling it something – your calling it… complicated! Now that’s something that probably will effect what you share…  how complicated is that?!

Saloni x

Lost like Tears in the Rain

Here I stand, drowning in my own pain,

The ticking of the clock, is the only thing that

keeps me from going insane.

I smile, I try, when I feel lost, I cry…

Sitting by my window, staring at the sea,

I’m thinking of all the things, that you couldn’t ever be…

The day you left had made me strong,

my faith in you was always wrong…

Yet time-to-time I cry myself to sleep,

at nights, I whisper, ‘no weep, no weep…’

I know my life will never be the same,

I know it’d changed, the day you came…

The scars you gave will remain with me,

Somethings, I’ll keep to myself… none could ever see.

So here I stand, drowning in my own pain,

I try to look around but I’m lost,

lost like tears in the Rain…

By Saloni Choujar

15 things to look for in a guy NOT to date!

I figured… while my memories are still fresh and sweet, I wanted to help my fellow girls out there… in choosing the right man for themselves… I mean, I did just get out of a break up myself right, so who better to tell you what kind of guys not to pick, then me? Trust me… it’ll help. Here’s a list of things you should look out for in a boy to make you want to run for the exit!

1. If he’s extra sweet – yeah like… typical Jannat style, or Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahahi style… if he’s one of those guys who are just cavety sweet, stay away my friend… because the first few months is not when you judge someone… that’s when their still trying to be who you want them to be, rather than being who they are! Don’t fall for his wooings… because eventually they will dry out and fade away and you’d be left thinking, what just happened? Your much better off with a guy who tells you as it is to your face from day one. Harsh, but it will surely last!

2. If he leaves his friends for you – oooooh no. no no. don’t EVER buy that shit… a. because he’s not going to do it for too long and b. sooner or later, you’ll be the bitch his buddies hate for taking him away… and when you want more time with him later, he’ll blame you for losing his own friends… trust me, it’s a mess your better off without.

3. A guy who buys you EVERYTHING – because you really don’t want a guy who spends alot of money on you… i know you think you do… but you actually don’t. Because in the end, when it’s over… you’ll be looking around your room thinking, what ALL do I exactly throw away? Everything will remind you of him… your accessories, your shoes, your clothes, your PHONE, your teddy bear, your key chain, your wallet, your bag, your ring, and in some sad cases like mine, even your fucking DOG. That you both got together… not something you can get rid of exactly.

4. If he has a lot of family – Don’t go for a guy with a huge family… because if you guys are serious you’ll probably get all attached to him, and then it’s all over and they’ll be all fake with you and all ‘oh im sure it will work out’ just so that you don’t freak them out by crying and shit and then eventually you won’t want to talk to them and he’ll be all busy with his relatives the whole time and won’t even miss you much… so there are less chances of him missing you. Date an Orphan!

5. Never date a man who’s favorite film is ‘A Lot Like Love’ – I mean come on… what is it with that film? I agree it’s good… but if you end up dating a guy who’s favorite film you KNOW is A lot like Love.. and a year later he says I’m sorry but I’ve just fallen out of “love” with you… well, it’s not him you should be blaming is it… it’s you who’s stupid for dating that fucker! You obviously KNOW his idea of love is not Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind… his idea of love is having sex the first time you meet in an airplane… probably parting ways, having lots and lots of more sex with other people… bumping into each other again… having more sex… then going off to different people and having sex with them.. then having sex… oh I’m sorry, making “love” nude infront of the moon and taking pictures of it… and then going off again.. and in the end, well… you’ve fucked so many times at so many different occasions… that you start thinking you were destined to be together. So if you’ve just broken up, its OKAY… he’s probably fantasizing the rest of yours’ and his life together meeting at intervals and having mind blowing sex together before your 30 and you end up with each other for real. So chill.

Or maybe… I’d suggest… Run!!

6. A guy behaves really ‘Sensitive’ and ‘oh my god, this world is so mean’ - Puhlleeeaasseee.. stay away from those freaks will you?! The whole… “I’m so depressed… what has this world come to? People have to beg for water… they have to pay for a thing as small as water… something that is every human beings right.”…. Right my fucking ass. you don’t give a shit! He’s probably just faking it…. such people, who often say “I don’t like socializing because it’s depressing how people are so sweet on the face and then so mean to each other behind their backs”… are basically hypocrites, who are far from accepting the fact that we, the ones that ACCEPT that we are often selfish and hypocrites are better off then they are… because we don’t hide it. And we do socialize. We don’t whine. And trust me, they will TURN back on you… every single time. Their like… a kind of psychopath categorized men. really. it’s seriously harmful.

7. Guys who compare what you share with them, with their Ex, who actually dumped them for another guy - That’s a really risky category to enter… because you don’t really know them till you’ve been with them… a guy who says he was better off with his ex because they never fought… because they never remembered each others anniversaries, or birthdays, or spent any time together, or did anything together even remotely meaningful and eventually she moved on to screw other men and leave him, well… if THAT’s what he’s looking for… what are you still doing there??? Save this page on your phonebook, and get out of his house. Run. Jump out of the window, whatever. U don’t want to be compared to some bitch who didnt even know the meaning of love. then again, those are the girls who ALWAYS keep men on their toes. so maybe u should go be more like her. but with someone else.

8. The one’s who say they just want to make you smile - hahahahahahahahahaha… right… that’s helarious. I’m not even going to BOTHER with explaining this one. Seriously. doesn’t just the sound of that make you laugh? tell him he just made you smile, and that’s the furthest he will ever go…. so he can bugger off.

9. Guys that say they “love it when you get angry” - uh… yeah. REALLY? hold on… put yourself on a itzy bitzy test if you really think he means it, be your self for about.. mmm… 3 months.. stay the same… get angry whenever you wish to… and then see his reaction.. the “love” for anger, was more like “love” to get you in bed by praising the shit he hates the most.

10. Don’t date a guy who hasn’t had many experiences… not many girlfriends… if you really like him, wait till he’s “moo marofied” everywhere first… because if you let him have you before that, he’ll get over you after a year or so, and then regret not having been with more girls before you! and then you’ll regret not regretting this decision back then… if you know what i mean!

11. Don’t date a guy who lives to far - he may travel for you every single day, right now. he may even do it for another 5 months… but that’s as far as it will go before you start getting shit for how “he can’t travel this far every fucking day, he’s tired”.. and that’s like “tired enough to go see my friends 30 minutes from your house and an hour from mine and booze out with them but might just fall asleep or ruin my life if i travel the extra mile.”

12. Don’t date a guy who thinks your too good for him from day one… - you know why? Eventually.. he will leave you because you ARE too good for him! It’s just the truth. He’ll get burdened by your qualities and talents and feel like he could never match up to it, and go around saying he can’t live upto your expectations … which is a really funny way to put it, if you ask me.

13. Never date a guy who’s on FaceBook!! - simplest reason ever… you will KEEP frigging checking his FUCKING account… all day long… it’s difficult not to. You want to know what he’s getting up to… you want to know all the girls he’s speaking to. you want to see his messages and his chats and everything even though it’s over and that’ll only hurt you more so why don’t you just save yourself the trouble of having to analyze every little word he says, and find a man who isn’t on the frigging website?!

14. Find a guy without a phone… if he has a phone, you’ll always check his messages… his call log, or his pictures for porn. you may not find anyyy of it… but you will check. and when it’s over, you’ll call non stop… just to talk… so rather than insulting yourself and losing all self respect, I think it’s better you make a boyfriend who doesn’t have a phone. who uses the PCO to call you when he’s ruining late.. aw. cute.

15. Don’t date a guy who falls in “louv” with you whaaay too soon – … because for them, love is like a swimming pool.. They can just get in, get out, and dry themselves. it’s that simple to get OUT of love…. and you don’t want such a man… because he gives you absolutely no support… and when it’s over, you’ll keep asking for another chance… but hey, “don’t you get it? I just DON’T love you anymore!”… mmm… I get it.

Anyway… so umm… basically… you choose a guy, who’s not nice, won’t leave his friends with you, is extremely broke, is an orphan who doesn’t like Ashton kutchers’ chick flick A lot like Love, Is a complete jerk and likes to socialize, doesn’t have a bitchy ex that you get compared to, isn’t really THAT interested in making you smile, doesn’t necessarily like it when you get angry, has had a lot of experience, which means he probably has AIDS or HIV or alot of STD’s by now… someone doesn’t think your too good for him, lives pretty much in the same Zip Code, and doesn’t fall in love with you in the first 3 months… oh, and yeah, isn’t on Facebook, and doesn’t have a phone either (:

I think that’s about it…. ! With this list, you should be good to go.

P.S. Haha, guys… Please take it all with good humor… xx